“Open the window,” my 6-year-old, Hannah, said on the drive to the Dakota County fair on Sunday.
“Why?” I asked, cueing up our current favorite song, “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift.
“Because it’s good luck for Prince Charming.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said. “I think I’d scare him off if he heard me sing.”
But what the hell. Intoxicating Artist had brushed off my seduction attempts the day before and I needed all the good luck I could get. So I rolled down the window and belted out a couple stanzas:
"If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can’t you see?
You belong with me-ee-ee.
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor
all this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me-ee-ee. You belong with me."
While I was singing my heart out, Hannah’s sweet expression turned sour.
“Hmm…yeah, that is a little freaky,” she said. “Roll up the windows.”
“Freaky” doesn’t begin to describe the conversation during family dinner that night.
Adultery, disco sticks, man-whores, and the naked French man on the "Sex and the City" movie were all on the discussion menu.
When I mentioned my inability to woo Intoxicating Artist via e-mail, my adulterous aspirations were met with head shakes and sighs all around.
“You don’t want to play around with musicians,” Dad said. (Nice pun, BTW.)
I sliced myself another serving of Man Cake and lifted it to my lips.
“Look at it this way,” I sighed through a mouthful of bacon and melted cheese. “It made for some entertaining blog posts and inspired a few recipes.”
“Has he seen those?” Dad asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “But even if he did, he’d probably get a rise out of it. He’s 42, married,"
"With kids!" Mom chimed in.
"...and Lutheran," I continued. "He’s gotta be incredibly bored with his life.”
I swallowed my last hunk of Man Cake and unleashed a saucy smile.
“He’ll be back,” I said. “I can feel it already.”
Like my attraction to all things edible, no man can resist Erica Rivera for long.
To be continued (if God responds to blogs, that is...)
THE PERFECT MAN CAKE
Ingredients
2 large eggs, slightly beaten
1 ½ cups Bisquick baking mix
1 tablespoon sugar
¾ cup milk
¼ cup real maple syrup
2 cups shredded Colby jack cheese, divided
12 slices turkey bacon
Method
• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Grease baking sheet with cooking spray.
• Place turkey bacon in single layer on cookie sheet.
• Bake 12-15 minutes.
• Remove from oven and set aside.
• Increase oven heat to 425 degrees.
• Grease 8-inch round pan with cooking spray.
• Combine beaten eggs, Bisquick, sugar, milk, and syrup in large bowl.
• Beat on high with electric mixer 1-2 minutes or until no lumps remain.
• Stir in 1 cup of shredded cheese.
• Pour batter into pan and bake for 10-12 minutes.
• Meanwhile, cut bacon into bite-sized pieces (or just rip it into
shreds if you’re hands-on like me.)
• Remove round pan from oven and sprinkle bacon and remaining cheese on top of Man Cake.
• Return round pan to oven and bake for 3 more minutes or until cheese has melted.
• Serve immediately.
• If you have a crowd coming over, make sure to double this recipe. There's no such thing as too much Man Cake!
